Kissaa Kahaani

January 9, 2014

There Shall be Showers of Blessing…

Filed under: The Unadulterated Magic — MK @ 6:25 pm
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And yes, the showers have been bestowed…. to be precise, bestowed almost five months back and its still showering!

More than one year back, I realized that I am not alone anymore- physically, emotionally, in my thought… there is someone… occupying me, my thought… I was pregnant. I wont lie, I was so scared, so unsure… doubtful. Would I be able to afford having a baby now- doctors, delivery costs, hospitals, medicines, supplements? Am I ready to put my career on hold- even for teeny weeny while? Am I mentally prepared to be a parent? Am I ready to take on the responsibility of a new human being? Am I prepared to change and shift my priorities? Will I be clumsy with the baby too? Will I make a mistake and would not know how to take care of the little one? Would I harm the baby? And as I pondered, I knew that this is the most natural thing that could have happened and that this is the most special blessing I am bestowed with. I called this conception, Serendipity. Sweet Accident.

Days turned into weeks, and weeks into months… and the growth of my darling was visible- my tummy swelled up, wardrobe size changes, eating habit and lifestyle took a turn for better and healthier, kicks, tiny kicks made my heart go pitter patter. My Child was already born, the day I conceived. ANd that was also the day when I was born. As a mother.

Every visit to doctor and USG technicians made me happy. Being blessed with no-nonsense smooth pregnancy (yes- no morning sickness, no midnight cravings, no dizziness, no tiredness)

It is so strange that those 9 months flew by… and came the day when I got to see and touch that wonder! Pain can be beautiful, pain can be worthwhile, pain can be wonderful! After 6 hours of labor, when this baby popped out of me, the pain did not matter! Enduring this made me even more stronger as a woman, as a person, as a human being. More tolerant, more patient. And the first time, I touched those little feet… the baby who was inside my tummy was in my arms now… oh! the baby I carried for 9 months was here, visible, and screaming at the top of his lungs, scrunched up red little face, upturned nose, bow shaped lips, tiny tight fists and those stretched out tiny little toes… my 4 kgs bundle of Joy was here! Its a miracle, how much a mother sees and observes in her dazed state- i counted all the toes, held him, and slept. I always knew that I will have a son. He is my Kishna. 

Since then, everyday is an adventure! Everyday there is something new. Everyday I experience showers of blessing. That toothless gummy chubby beautifully amazingly mesmerizing smile, that wonderfully big curious eyes, those hands reaching out to people, that angry scream, that constant feet movements, that tossing and turning in sleep, that smile while having milk, that constant blabber in some out-worldly language, wetting of diapers and everyone else, poops, everything….  Pain, as I said, is worthwhile. Pain, of leaving him behind daily for 9 hours while I go to work,  pays its returns when i go back and wrap him in my arms, pays it when i see that wonderful welcoming smile on his face…. 

Words are just that- words. Mere alphabets, just a way to communicate, words are not a way to emote… What I feel, what I have become, what I can do for this baby is incomprehensible, indescribable…. 

For me, the life changed and it keeps on changing- minute by minute, day by day… life changes as my baby changes from an infant towards a toddler, life will change as he grows… Life changes, when we try not to make mistakes anymore, Life changes as we try to infuse more positive attitude, life changes as we try to make amends for past mistakes, life changes as we look ahead… 

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July 1, 2011

The Brand New Father

There he was walking towards me just past the hospital, eyes on the traffic zooming past him and and mind dwelling some where else. My own eyes were not taking in the traffic but were absorbing the sight of him on the side walk. I was in a gloomy mood, these twice a week visit to Leelavati Hospital make me loose my tempo and depress me. He was a handsome man and captivating. His disheveled appearance did nothing to reduce the boyish charm, in fact it made him look more vulnerable and disarming; his thick black hair was tumbling over his eyes, his tie loosened with his collar button undone and sleeved rolled up, his shirt was wrinkled and half tucked in and half tucked out. He was walking with his hands in his pocket and spring in his step. His whole demeanor was a happy one, and made me smile. He lifted his head and looked up at me, I sighed- there was nothing else i could do- His grin was sudden and so electrifying. He was just a few feet away from me, he just laughed, came to me and hugged me tightly, “Congratulate me, I am a brand new father”, he released me and looked down at me and smiled and walked away and i stood there marveling at him and the way he made me, a stranger, a part of his life, the way he shared his joy with me. I met a stranger who gifted me with happiness….

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