Kissaa Kahaani

January 9, 2014

There Shall be Showers of Blessing…

Filed under: The Unadulterated Magic — MK @ 6:25 pm
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And yes, the showers have been bestowed…. to be precise, bestowed almost five months back and its still showering!

More than one year back, I realized that I am not alone anymore- physically, emotionally, in my thought… there is someone… occupying me, my thought… I was pregnant. I wont lie, I was so scared, so unsure… doubtful. Would I be able to afford having a baby now- doctors, delivery costs, hospitals, medicines, supplements? Am I ready to put my career on hold- even for teeny weeny while? Am I mentally prepared to be a parent? Am I ready to take on the responsibility of a new human being? Am I prepared to change and shift my priorities? Will I be clumsy with the baby too? Will I make a mistake and would not know how to take care of the little one? Would I harm the baby? And as I pondered, I knew that this is the most natural thing that could have happened and that this is the most special blessing I am bestowed with. I called this conception, Serendipity. Sweet Accident.

Days turned into weeks, and weeks into months… and the growth of my darling was visible- my tummy swelled up, wardrobe size changes, eating habit and lifestyle took a turn for better and healthier, kicks, tiny kicks made my heart go pitter patter. My Child was already born, the day I conceived. ANd that was also the day when I was born. As a mother.

Every visit to doctor and USG technicians made me happy. Being blessed with no-nonsense smooth pregnancy (yes- no morning sickness, no midnight cravings, no dizziness, no tiredness)

It is so strange that those 9 months flew by… and came the day when I got to see and touch that wonder! Pain can be beautiful, pain can be worthwhile, pain can be wonderful! After 6 hours of labor, when this baby popped out of me, the pain did not matter! Enduring this made me even more stronger as a woman, as a person, as a human being. More tolerant, more patient. And the first time, I touched those little feet… the baby who was inside my tummy was in my arms now… oh! the baby I carried for 9 months was here, visible, and screaming at the top of his lungs, scrunched up red little face, upturned nose, bow shaped lips, tiny tight fists and those stretched out tiny little toes… my 4 kgs bundle of Joy was here! Its a miracle, how much a mother sees and observes in her dazed state- i counted all the toes, held him, and slept. I always knew that I will have a son. He is my Kishna. 

Since then, everyday is an adventure! Everyday there is something new. Everyday I experience showers of blessing. That toothless gummy chubby beautifully amazingly mesmerizing smile, that wonderfully big curious eyes, those hands reaching out to people, that angry scream, that constant feet movements, that tossing and turning in sleep, that smile while having milk, that constant blabber in some out-worldly language, wetting of diapers and everyone else, poops, everything….  Pain, as I said, is worthwhile. Pain, of leaving him behind daily for 9 hours while I go to work,  pays its returns when i go back and wrap him in my arms, pays it when i see that wonderful welcoming smile on his face…. 

Words are just that- words. Mere alphabets, just a way to communicate, words are not a way to emote… What I feel, what I have become, what I can do for this baby is incomprehensible, indescribable…. 

For me, the life changed and it keeps on changing- minute by minute, day by day… life changes as my baby changes from an infant towards a toddler, life will change as he grows… Life changes, when we try not to make mistakes anymore, Life changes as we try to infuse more positive attitude, life changes as we try to make amends for past mistakes, life changes as we look ahead… 

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April 17, 2013

Why Do I Love Malls!!!

I love malls. I love being there. It’s a colorful menagerie, vibrancy, people, life and what not! The lives in malls are always on move! And why do I love malls?? The other day I went to one such grand mall with my husband for dinner – allow me to narrate the beautiful sights I witnessed there, and you would know why love malls!

The moment we entered we were greeted with a welcome chaos, an organized anarchy. People skipping the queue for security check, being a weekend the whole place was crowded. I saw a daughter-in-law in traditional garbs, covering her head with pallu and her mother-in-law guiding her on the escalator. I saw a young pretty person in hot pants and hand-in-hand with her companion who was leaning in to whisper sweet nothings on the same escalator. I saw a tiny boy, scared and curious at the same time, he was trying to step on the escalator, cheered on by his father. The lad was soooo happy that when he actually stepped on the mechanical moving staircase,  his face reflected the victorious emotions as if he was the winner of the Mumbai Marathon! His father was equally proud when his miniature version turned and triumphantly shouted, “Dadda! I made it.”

And on the third floor, while sitting and whiling away time, we saw a super cute scene! A little girl (may be little more than 2 years old) was harassing her father. Let me try and recount the conversation verbatim.

Daughter to Dad, “Daddy I wanna ride a horse!” “No Kiddo, there are no horses in this mall, we will ride horse some other time.” Dad cajoled. With a tearful scowl and pouted lower lips, the daughter insists that she doesn’t care, “Be my horse no daddy! Juss for two minnets ride! Pleeeze, puhleeez, puhleez Daddy.” A resigned sigh resonated from the Dad’s throat and also the soft muttering, “You little blackmailing toddler, you take after your mother!” and then loudly, “Okies, common, just two minutes and no more!” The exuberance on the face of that little manipulative girl was a wonderful sight, she was jumping and skipping and laughing and finally the dad went down on his knees put the daughter on his back and was then on all fours. The horse and the rider started the chanting, “Chal mere ghode tic tic tic!” The two minutes went on to 10 minutes and both were unaware of the stares, smirks, wistful smiles and laughter of the fellow mall-goers.

As we sat down to have a pure vegetarian Rajasthani dinner (I somehow had the craving only for the vegetarian that day, though my husband believes that a Restaurant not having any chicken dish in the menu  is not worth being called a restaurant) and in come five, no. Ten, no. Thirteen people to have dinner. A Traditional Rajasthani family. Women in ghoonghat and men in kurtas and pagdis. Four tables were joined together and women sat near the wall, kids in between and then the menfolk.  The dinner commenced and criticism too. Eldest lady says, “I cook better, they call this Rajasthani Thali! I told you all not to waste money”.

A stroll to a home furniture store brought even more smiles.  Beautiful furniture assembled together to give a feel of one’s future dream home. Beds and sofas and dining tables and couches and night stands and kitchenware and furnishings. As we ooh-ed and aah-ed over various pieces, I saw one more couple doing the same in front of a display bedroom. They were looking at the stuff presented beautifully and I could see the beautiful desire in the guy’s eyes and dream in girl’s.

Yes I love malls. They sell not the merchandise but the dreams, the ambitions. Malls are not just a market place, an assembly of random shops; it’s a place where parents buy wedding trousseaus for their daughters. Malls are places where boyfriends buy a ring and propose to girlfriends. Malls are places where housewives escape cooking for a day and enjoy. Malls are place where break ups happen and make-ups happen. Malls are places where kids see the whole range of diverse colors- good and bad- and learn. I love malls, because I get to see so much of life there. I love malls, because I see so many emotions fleeting on the faces of mall-goers. I also love malls because I get to empty my husband’s pocket there!

April 30, 2011

The Watch.

Aakruti was aghast on phone, her face visibly paled. Animesh looked up from his paper and jumped to his feet and held her. She looked at him and said, “Anandi’s husband left her for a 22 year old girl and threw her and their son out of their house, she has nowhere to go”. “But they do have, its sad situation and who will help if not relatives”, said Animesh, “Ask them to bunk in here”. Animesh was a Sr. Project Manager at an MNC and was earning a hefty salary. With no children, his house looked bigger than it actually was. And he loved his peace. Aakruti wondered on his sudden generosity but shook it aside and went ahead to make the two spare rooms ready for her guests- Anandi her sister and Manav her 8 year old nephew whom she adored. She often thought when will she have her own child to adore, but Animesh was simply not ready even after 9 years and 8 months of their marriage. People already started looking at her with pity and her mother-in-law kept on calling to say how much her heart ached for a grandchild. But how can she say that its Animesh who is stalling the whole thing!! She just couldn’t. She loved him. Animesh set out for station to pick Anandi and Manav, if it were happening to someone else he would have laughed. He put his foot in his mouth. He put on his Pierre Cardin Watch, his only frivolous splurge, he realized that the watch was not working, he kept it in his pocket. “What was the need you dumb asshole”, he murmured to himself. But then he was right, where else his sister-in-law could go!? She and his wife were orphans abandoned by relatives after tragic accident of their parents and Aakruti was just 14 at that time. It was Anandi who was 18 who left her studies and joined a call center. Thank God they still had a roof on their heads. It was Anandi who made sure that Aakruti continues her studies without glitches and it Anandi who introduced Animesh and Aakruti and it was Anandi who arranged a simple wedding at when Aakruti was 24. Anandi married he boss when she was 30. She realized that it was impossible for her remain alone and ward of the ‘evil eye’ of the men in her vicinity. He boss was the only one showed some true compassion towards her. How wrong was she. By the end of the year she was blessed with Manav. Her life was complete, she was a success. Animesh respected Anandi, and in his heart he saw the reason for those ‘evil eye’ even at almost 38, she was beautiful and not an ounce of unnecessary fat on her body, tall and lithe and always active with ready smile and bright eyes. He was a man afterall- he knew that his sister-in-law very attractive and after a gap of almost 10 years- she was like a wine while his wife has started showing the signs of her battle with the age. He scolded himself for his train of thoughts and resolved to make sure that they wont stay here for more than required- a 2-3 weeks, a month tops! He will make some arrangements, get that woman a job and throw her out of his life. Anandi was bad news. Anandi was distraught. She was at her wits end. Where will she turn? What she would do now? Will he divorce her or will he come to his senses? Where will she live? What about Manav? “Why Madhav? Why? Why was I not enough for you? What does that virginal girl give you that I cant? Why are you punishing me? Why are you punishing your son”, she cried in her anguish and looked at Manav. Who was only 8, but was very perceptive and mature for his age. Who wouldnt be, if his mother is being sodomized by his father day in and day out. Anandi was glad too, she will be finally free of his. She couldnt leave him, she didnt have that much courage. Thank God he left her. The “chook chook” of the train was soothing and lulled her to sleep. She slept, she knew that she will finally be safe in her sister’s house. She saw Animesh and in relief of a familiar face who would not hurt her, she wept freely. Animesh hugged both of them, Manav hugged his knees while Anandi hugged his torso. Animesh felt his manhood stirring and released her. He loved Aakriti. They drove and chit chat continued in the car. As they reached the house, Aakruti came running and both sisters clung to each other and wept. While Manav looked at Animesh and remarked, “Women, their tears could end up drowning us men, eh Uncle” and laughed at his little joke. They went inside and after a while Anandi told her story to her only remaining family members. A week later, presence of Manav in the house made Aakruti resent her husband for depriving her of her chance of being a mother. More she interacted with Manav, more she felt the pang. She decided to punish Animesh and she chose the west weapon she had. Her body. That night when Animesh crawled in Aakruti kept her back towards him and swatted his advancing hands, “I dont feel like it Animesh. It seems useless to me” She said. “Animesh was shocked, he and Aakruti both loved their ‘Nightly Adventures’. But this was definitely something new, “What happened Kriti, you okay. Are you sick?” he was concerned. “Yes, I am as okay as I can be Anu, your mother called today, she came out of her veiled statements and asked me to go visit a doctor and see if there can be an alternative to my not being able to conceive even after 10 years of my marriage? What should I tel her Anu? That her son refuses to grow up? That he is too self absorbed? Tell me Anu”. “Whats wrong with you, what does simple sex has to do with it? Tell her to call me next time and do inform her that its none of her business” He retorted. “And what should I tell myself Anu? That its none of my business as well?” “Anu I want a child, my heart aches for one. Please” She pleaded but Animesh said that after two years only he will think and if they are not able to conceive one they will sponsor or adopt sor something. He leaned in to kiss her, Aakruti turned her face away and took her pillow to separate her from her husband and said that she wont allow him to touch her until she gets to be a mother. And she slept off. Animesh sighed and thought about the joke Manav said about women’s tears. He was feeling drowned. Its just a phase, it will pass off. He slept. But it didnot pass off. Animesh started feeling resentful towards his sister-in-law and his nephew. He wanted to talk to talk Aakruti into making these guests leave, but Anandi was still mourning her marriage and Manav has finally adjusted to new place, “It will be cruel to have him uprooted again, its just been two weeks, and anyways you are not at home in day, the house is all empty, if not my children, I have my sister’s son here”. The discussion was dismissed. As days passes Animesh started feeling like a stranger in his own house. Aakruti wont let him touch him, the dinner would always be of Manav’s choice and not his. Many ither small things. He just couldnt take it. He was looking at Aakruti give her clothes to the Laundryman for washing and ironing. She asked Animesh to hand over the trousers he was wearing yesterday for washing. That night he literally begged Aakruti for reconciliation. But she was as stubborn as a mule and refused to let him touch her. Around midnight he just had it, he couldnt sleep and he went out to the dining room and he saw Anandi there. Sitting looking out of the window. He went towards her and she was startled. He realized that she was weeping, he offered a brotherly hug, but as soon as his engulfed her in his arms, his intentions were not at all brotherly anymore. He leaned into kiss her neck, “What are you doing Animesh”, she flung away from his as if she was bitten by a snake. “Calm down Anandi, I am man and I love your sister but since 20 days she has shied away from me, you live here. It may sound rude but you live here for free, why not make a win-win situation for everyone”, Animesh gave a evil grin. “What exactly do you mean?” Anandi explored calmly. “See Anandi, Aakruti wants a child, I dont. You need a house and a job, you dont have any and I need you. Why dont I let you live here till whatever time you want, I will even get you a job, Manav will be a substitute son for Aakruti and in turn you can make me happy. In fact we all will be happy. One big happy family, what do you say Anandi”. Anandi had a look of disgust on her face. “You want me to trade in my son, my self respect and my body for you to let me stay here?”, a loud crack sounded as Anandi slapped Animesh. Animesh was shocked and by the time he came out of his trance he ran towards Anandi room which was bolted from inside. Animesh went back fuming. Early morning when Aakruti woke up, totally in the bliss of ignorance of the last night’s event in her house she saw Animesh ravaging drawers after drawers of their wardrobe. “Where is my watch” He asked her, “But I dont know!!” She retaliated. When she got out of the bathroom after a bath, she heard Animesh shouting. She came out to see Aakruti in silent tears and Manav being held by almost cruelly by Animesh who was repeatedly shaking him and asking over and over again, “where is my watch you little thief? , I saw you playing with it the other day”. Manav was too shocked to reply. Aakruti intervened and pried Manav away. She asked for the reason of commotion and Animesh said, “She may be your sister, and she may have sacrificed a lot for you, but she has to leave. I cant tolerate a thief at my house, whatever the age may be. Shows the nurturing of that child, doesnt it” He turned towards Anandi and mocked at her, “Were you thrown out of your husband’s home because of this very reason? I dont care you will have to leave, you are not my headache anymore.” And he stormed off. Aakruti was still confused, she was not able to make heads or tails from the whole scenario. She sat down at the chair by the window, too numb to say anything. After an hour, Anandi came out holding Manav’s hands and looked at Aakruti, “It doesnt matter, but still I say, my Son is not a thief.” and silently she walked away. Aakruti ran behind them and saw them going away, she just stood at the threshold looking at them. After a long time as she turned back to enter her house again, she saw the laundryman coming towards. He said, “Madam, here is a paper I found in Saheb’s pocket, I thought it must be important.” And he rambled away. Aakruti looked at the paper. It was a receipt. A bill for the repairing of his watch, which he will get back day after tomorrow.

April 20, 2011

I Miss You-3

Filed under: The Memories Unfogged — MK @ 11:18 am
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I will today remember my youngest sister. We called her Reshu.

Reshu

Reshu was our youngest sister. She was five months old when she died. I was 7-8 years old. Girls were a burden at that time. And My parents had three already. My parents loved us but secretly they also wanted a son. in her fourth pregnancy my mother was happy and glowing that it will be a son this time. But God and his jokes- this time also we were given a baby sister. My mother was devastated. But as soon as she laid her eyes on the Angel she was in love with her. All of us were in love with my little sister.

You would have loved her too. She was nothing like us sisters- though I will say that us three sisters may not be extraordinarily beautiful but we definitely are attractive and my parents are very good-looking (unfortunately we did not inherit their best features) But Reshu, my youngest sister was beyond all of us. She had this angelic look and such beautiful dimples on her fair cheeks. She would rarely weep, rarely she would create any tantrums. She would hop into the arms of anyone who would show affection to her. She had that toothless gummy chubby grin that would capsize your heart.

She would tease my mom. My mom would breastfeed her and Reshu wold play hide and seek with mom, she would look at my mom’s face give her oh-so-sweet smile and duck in to have her fill again after a few moments she would give that grin to my mom. I would carry her all around, holding her gave that nice feeling to me. We loved playing with her.

And then she fell sick. My mother had to do all household work- sweeping the floor of that huge house, cooking 12-13 people, cleaning, taking care of us sisters and my grandfather. And no one to help her. She first saw that my sister is sick when she tried to feed her milk from spoon- she saw that my sister was weeping but her voice was different and that her neck was towards one side and her whole body was limp. She ran towards my uncle- my dad was in Shimla and in Training- he was in 1992 batch of IA&AS. My uncle called the village doctor and the doctor gave his verdict- my sister’s lungs were filled with cough and mucus. And that my sister would need constant injections so that that mucus is dried. And daily her tiny body suffered not only the pains of her sickness but also the cruelty of that doctor. My mom wept and wept- but then she had no money of her own to take for second opinion. Nor was she able to contact my father, she just wrote a letter. No phones at that time in my house. Thank fully one of my Aunt’s husband arrived a few days later the moment he saw my sister he told my uncle and my mom to take her to Patna and get her admitted.

They left for Patna.

Once in Hospital, she was diagnosed with Meningitis. That tiny poor child suffered due to the half cooked knowledge of that Doctor, and she suffered due to my mother’s helplessness, she suffered due to that fact that my father was too far away, she suffered due to my uncle’s ignorance. She suffered. My mom had to be hospitalized as well. She couldnt bear it. And our Reshu died.

Before she died- she waited for our father. My dad tells me that when he entered the room, Reshu’s crib was positioned in a way that her head was towards door, God knows how she knew it, but the moment dad entered the room, Reshu twisted her body, looked at my father and smiled. The baby who was paralysed all over just moved herself to look at her father. And then she slept- never to wake up. She died.

In Bihar we celebrate Chhath- its above all festivals, everything. My mom, before going to Patna, begged my father’s aunt to pray for my sister in Chhath.

You know the saddest part? We dont even have her photograph, not a single one. All we have is the memories which are too few and far between. My mother couldnt tolerate the sight of all those baby dresses and toys and cribs. She gave it all away. We dont have anything which would show that we once had a sister. Just sometimes, we three sisters and my parents sit and talk about her. We just smile and we cry. Sh was an angel who gave us laughter, I think if she were alive today she would have been a delightful person. Wherever she is, I just hope she is happy and that her laughter still makes the heart go pitter patter.

April 19, 2011

I Miss You – 2

Filed under: The Memories Unfogged — MK @ 12:16 pm
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I told you all about my Nani now I will tell you about my Nana, my grand pa, my mother’s father.

Nana

My Nana was the handsomest man I saw, no bias, no partiality. He was the handsomest. Tall, Fair, lean, straight nose and a ready smile. His best feature? His bluish grey eyes which lightened further due to the old age. Those eyes twinkled.

My Nana wanted to be an actor. There is a legend in my mother’s family ( I can’t say how much of it was true but here ir goes). He was staying away from home for his studies, my Nana. And he aspired to be an actor. However working in movies and theater at that time was a taboo, it meant you are demeaning the family values. So he decided not to inform his father about his decision and ran away to Mumbai. It is said that he bagged a role also in a Hindi film called Aahuti i guess it was somewhere in late 1940s. My great-grandfather could not tolerate it and he schemed. He sent a telegram to my Nana stating that he is sick and has cancer. He said his last wish is to see his son before he dies. And my Grandfather came back home. And he remained in home. He lost his aspiration and his zeal.

One thing is for sure, my grandfather was a wonderful man. He was so polite all the time and he rarely raised his voice. I remember once my mother was visiting her parents, my grandparents lived in village- true village. My mother and her brother had some disagreement, mom decided to leave then and there with us kids and my grandfather was silent and sad. He did not anticipate this and had no gifts for us. Since there was no mode transportation available other than a bullock cart- my mom and us sisters were on that bullock cart going away. My Nana was standing there, his snow-white hair shining and he threw three packets of Parle-G Biscuits towards us. We squealed in delight and he laughed.

He loved my Nani so much. I have never such love between any husband and wife, such devotion for each other. My Nana was a handsome man and Nani was quite homely. My Nana was a learned man and my Nani was illiterate. It was a mismatch but what a wonderful mismatch! He would constantly tease my Nani. Once my grandma was talking to herself in an irritated voice, grand pa asked her about whats bothering her- she replied that even in this old age she has to wash so many utensils- my Nana said- don’t worry I will wash it next time for you. Another incident is that one of my cousins was getting married in Patna and all my maternal uncles are there. My Grandparents went to attend the wedding. However in the house of the uncle where the wedding was supposed to take place- there was not much space. So uncle asked my Nana to shift his base to another uncle and Nani would stay behind and stay with him while Nana would visit in the day. Nana was so angry! He scolded his son in a rare loud voice, “If you do not have space in your house, you do not have to separate us. My wife will sleep on the couch, I will take a rug and sleep on the floor- I don’t mind. Just dont make me go away.” People used to mock him and Nani that in old age they are so romantic- it was almost inappropriate. They would sit together, eat together, laugh together- 24X7.

My Nana was not able to continue his education but he was educated. He could defeat you in debate. He would dominate you with his knowledge in every field. He loved studying and his English was impeccable. My father said that Nana had memorized an Oxford Thesaurus and he had great command over the language- he would know the exact pronunciation, word root, antonym, synonym etc etc. My father preserved all the letter his Father-in-law sent him. He says these letters are beauty.

My Grandfather also wrote- by the pseudonym of ‘Adhura’ which means incomplete. After Nana death my father brought his manuscripts and his diaries. I am no expert, though I know now that my love for Hindu Mythology is not just because of my reading habits- its in my genes.

We used to call our Nana, Dada which means the elder brother or the father of the father. Why we called him Dada was because everyone called him so- even my mom. So I know him as dada.

Dada I miss you- I can see you with a newspaper and a radio on your front porch sitting in a hard wooden chair in your Grey Kurta and starched white Dhoti. Dada my mother misses you so much. She says that she is an orphan now. Dada I miss going to that Durga Mandir holding your hands and skipping around. Dada my father does not want to visit your home now- you are not there anymore. Dada we all miss you. I go to your photo there- hanging in my home and look at you- I see you smiling at me. And pointing to Nani “See there- our Granddaughter”. Dada wherever you are- wish us luck, bless us and help us in our hard times. I love you.

April 18, 2011

I Miss You – 1

Filed under: The Memories Unfogged — MK @ 6:29 pm
Tags: , , , ,

Its so easy to see the the title above and to get an idea that I am missing my beau. But at this very moment, I am missing some very close people, some of my own. I miss them with a regret that even though I had many chances I was not able to spend time with them. I miss them with the agony that either I was too young to understand the meaning they had in my life or I was too self centered. This series of posts is my way of remembering them, my way of loving them… My both sets of Grandparents and my youngest sister.

Nani

My Nani my mother’s mother was a thin, frail woman, with kind face and cow-web wrinkles and a hunchback which she got after a terrible accident and could never recover, Full of energy and constant squabbling. What I remember about her is her fragrance- a motherly soothing fragrance; white crisp cotton sari; protruding veins in her hands which I referred to as earthworm; her cribbing over my grandfather’s teasing; her paan stained teeth; her thick spectacles; her constant talks…

Last time I saw my Nani was ten years back. Exactly ten years. I hate myself- I had a dozen chances to go and visit her but I never did. One thing or the other took precedence. Excuses. All excuses. After my board exams, I went to my Nani’s place and there only I got the board results out- my dad called to say I got 78%- highest in his family (I am not counting my cousin’s marks) and highest in my mother’s family too! The record is long since broken. The point is I saw pride in my Nani’s watery eyes. Yes, I remember that. I remember atleast 15 years back, when she came to visit us, she would take a bowl of Mustard Oil and make us us sit down and rub that oil all over our bodies saying that my mom was not good enough to be mom as she does not massage us kids with mustard oil!!

I remember that during our rare conversation phone, she would weep and say- “Mamta wont you come and see me before I die?” She knew her daughter gave her three granddaughters- she only remembered my name.

I remember the stories she told me- the way she told those stories- with animated hands and face she would narrate- she would lower her voice and she would tell us the most awe inspiring tales which sound ridiculous today but I love those stories as much as I love my Nani The stories of “Sindoor ka Pul”, “Naag Mani”, “Raja ki eklauti beti”. I am going to tell my grandkids those stories one day. For sure.

I no longer have my Nani with me. The lady who was better than my mom, the woman who was so fragile but wore 9 children and showed her strength in bringing up her kids- I miss that woman in my life.

Nani I know its too late, but would you smile down upon me? Would you please massage my tired shoulders once again? Nani my own story has become so complicated, can you please narrate that Bihari version of “Frog Prince” story and take my mind off from my issues? Nani I want to share that tiny piece of paan leaf, betel leaf with me because the lunch today was horrible. Nani I want to eat Dahi-Chuda with you. Nani I want to poke those protruding veins on your hands and see you laugh at my naivety. Nani just a sign I need that you forgive me for not visiting you, that you still love me. Because I do love you.

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