Kissaa Kahaani

January 3, 2012

“Stay Hungry, Stay Foolish”

This is the “Stay Hungry. Stay Foolish” address delivered by Steve Jobs in 2005 at Stanford University:

I am honored to be with you today at your commencement from one of the finest universities in the world. I never graduated from college. Truth be told, this is the closest I’ve ever gotten to a college graduation. Today I want to tell you three stories from my life. That’s it. No big deal. Just three stories.

The first story is about connecting the dots.

I dropped out of Reed College after the first 6 months, but then stayed around as a drop-in for another 18 months or so before I really quit. So why did I drop out?

It started before I was born. My biological mother was a young, unwed college graduate student, and she decided to put me up for adoption. She felt very strongly that I should be adopted by college graduates, so everything was all set for me to be adopted at birth by a lawyer and his wife. Except that when I popped out they decided at the last minute that they really wanted a girl. So my parents, who were on a waiting list, got a call in the middle of the night asking: “We have an unexpected baby boy; do you want him?” They said: “Of course.” My biological mother later found out that my mother had never graduated from college and that my father had never graduated from high school. She refused to sign the final adoption papers. She only relented a few months later when my parents promised that I would someday go to college.

And 17 years later I did go to college. But I naively chose a college that was almost as expensive as Stanford, and all of my working-class parents’ savings were being spent on my college tuition. After six months, I couldn’t see the value in it. I had no idea what I wanted to do with my life and no idea how college was going to help me figure it out. And here I was spending all of the money my parents had saved their entire life. So I decided to drop out and trust that it would all work out OK. It was pretty scary at the time, but looking back it was one of the best decisions I ever made. The minute I dropped out I could stop taking the required classes that didn’t interest me, and begin dropping in on the ones that looked interesting.

It wasn’t all romantic. I didn’t have a dorm room, so I slept on the floor in friends’ rooms, I returned coke bottles for the 5¢ deposits to buy food with, and I would walk the 7 miles across town every Sunday night to get one good meal a week at the Hare Krishna temple. I loved it. And much of what I stumbled into by following my curiosity and intuition turned out to be priceless later on. Let me give you one example:

Reed College at that time offered perhaps the best calligraphy instruction in the country. Throughout the campus every poster, every label on every drawer, was beautifully hand calligraphed. Because I had dropped out and didn’t have to take the normal classes, I decided to take a calligraphy class to learn how to do this. I learned about serif and san serif typefaces, about varying the amount of space between different letter combinations, about what makes great typography great. It was beautiful, historical, artistically subtle in a way that science can’t capture, and I found it fascinating.

None of this had even a hope of any practical application in my life. But ten years later, when we were designing the first Macintosh computer, it all came back to me. And we designed it all into the Mac. It was the first computer with beautiful typography. If I had never dropped in on that single course in college, the Mac would have never had multiple typefaces or proportionally spaced fonts. And since Windows just copied the Mac, it’s likely that no personal computer would have them. If I had never dropped out, I would have never dropped in on this calligraphy class, and personal computers might not have the wonderful typography that they do. Of course it was impossible to connect the dots looking forward when I was in college. But it was very, very clear looking backwards ten years later.

Again, you can’t connect the dots looking forward; you can only connect them looking backwards. So you have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future. You have to trust in something – your gut, destiny, life, karma, whatever. This approach has never let me down, and it has made all the difference in my life.
My second story is about love and loss.

I was lucky – I found what I loved to do early in life. Woz and I started Apple in my parents garage when I was 20. We worked hard, and in 10 years Apple had grown from just the two of us in a garage into a $2 billion company with over 4000 employees. We had just released our finest creation – the Macintosh – a year earlier, and I had just turned 30. And then I got fired. How can you get fired from a company you started? Well, as Apple grew we hired someone who I thought was very talented to run the company with me, and for the first year or so things went well. But then our visions of the future began to diverge and eventually we had a falling out. When we did, our Board of Directors sided with him. So at 30 I was out. And very publicly out. What had been the focus of my entire adult life was gone, and it was devastating.

I really didn’t know what to do for a few months. I felt that I had let the previous generation of entrepreneurs down – that I had dropped the baton as it was being passed to me. I met with David Packard and Bob Noyce and tried to apologize for screwing up so badly. I was a very public failure, and I even thought about running away from the valley. But something slowly began to dawn on me – I still loved what I did. The turn of events at Apple had not changed that one bit. I had been rejected, but I was still in love. And so I decided to start over.

I didn’t see it then, but it turned out that getting fired from Apple was the best thing that could have ever happened to me. The heaviness of being successful was replaced by the lightness of being a beginner again, less sure about everything. It freed me to enter one of the most creative periods of my life.

During the next five years, I started a company named NeXT, another company named Pixar, and fell in love with an amazing woman who would become my wife. Pixar went on to create the worlds first computer animated feature film, Toy Story, and is now the most successful animation studio in the world. In a remarkable turn of events, Apple bought NeXT, I returned to Apple, and the technology we developed at NeXT is at the heart of Apple’s current renaissance. And Laurene and I have a wonderful family together.

I’m pretty sure none of this would have happened if I hadn’t been fired from Apple. It was awful tasting medicine, but I guess the patient needed it. Sometimes life hits you in the head with a brick. Don’t lose faith. I’m convinced that the only thing that kept me going was that I loved what I did. You’ve got to find what you love. And that is as true for your work as it is for your lovers. Your work is going to fill a large part of your life, and the only way to be truly satisfied is to do what you believe is great work. And the only way to do great work is to love what you do. If you haven’t found it yet, keep looking. Don’t settle. As with all matters of the heart, you’ll know when you find it. And, like any great relationship, it just gets better and better as the years roll on. So keep looking until you find it. Don’t settle.

My third story is about death.

When I was 17, I read a quote that went something like: “If you live each day as if it was your last, someday you’ll most certainly be right.” It made an impression on me, and since then, for the past 33 years, I have looked in the mirror every morning and asked myself: “If today were the last day of my life, would I want to do what I am about to do today?” And whenever the answer has been “No” for too many days in a row, I know I need to change something.

Remembering that I’ll be dead soon is the most important tool I’ve ever encountered to help me make the big choices in life. Because almost everything – all external expectations, all pride, all fear of embarrassment or failure – these things just fall away in the face of death, leaving only what is truly important. Remembering that you are going to die is the best way I know to avoid the trap of thinking you have something to lose. You are already naked. There is no reason not to follow your heart.
About a year ago I was diagnosed with cancer. I had a scan at 7:30 in the morning, and it clearly showed a tumor on my pancreas. I didn’t even know what a pancreas was. The doctors told me this was almost certainly a type of cancer that is incurable, and that I should expect to live no longer than three to six months. My doctor advised me to go home and get my affairs in order, which is doctor’s code for prepare to die. It means to try to tell your kids everything you thought you’d have the next 10 years to tell them in just a few months. It means to make sure everything is buttoned up so that it will be as easy as possible for your family. It means to say your goodbyes.

I lived with that diagnosis all day. Later that evening I had a biopsy, where they stuck an endoscope down my throat, through my stomach and into my intestines, put a needle into my pancreas and got a few cells from the tumor. I was sedated, but my wife, who was there, told me that when they viewed the cells under a microscope the doctors started crying because it turned out to be a very rare form of pancreatic cancer that is curable with surgery. I had the surgery and I’m fine now.

This was the closest I’ve been to facing death, and I hope it’s the closest I get for a few more decades. Having lived through it, I can now say this to you with a bit more certainty than when death was a useful but purely intellectual concept:

No one wants to die. Even people who want to go to heaven don’t want to die to get there. And yet death is the destination we all share. No one has ever escaped it. And that is as it should be, because Death is very likely the single best invention of Life. It is Life’s change agent. It clears out the old to make way for the new. Right now the new is you, but someday not too long from now, you will gradually become the old and be cleared away. Sorry to be so dramatic, but it is quite true.

Your time is limited, so don’t waste it living someone else’s life. Don’t be trapped by dogma – which is living with the results of other people’s thinking. Don’t let the noise of others’ opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary.

When I was young, there was an amazing publication called The Whole Earth Catalog, which was one of the bibles of my generation. It was created by a fellow named Stewart Brand not far from here in Menlo Park, and he brought it to life with his poetic touch. This was in the late 1960’s, before personal computers and desktop publishing, so it was all made with typewriters, scissors, and polaroid cameras. It was sort of like Google in paperback form, 35 years before Google came along: it was idealistic, and overflowing with neat tools and great notions.

Stewart and his team put out several issues of The Whole Earth Catalog, and then when it had run its course, they put out a final issue. It was the mid-1970s, and I was your age. On the back cover of their final issue was a photograph of an early morning country road, the kind you might find yourself hitchhiking on if you were so adventurous. Beneath it were the words: “Stay Hungry. Stay Foolish.” It was their farewell message as they signed off. Stay Hungry. Stay Foolish. And I have always wished that for myself. And now, as you graduate to begin anew, I wish that for you.

Stay Hungry. Stay Foolish.

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November 21, 2011

I have a secret

Filed under: The Memories Unfogged,The Unadulterated Magic — MK @ 3:59 pm

“I have a secret.”
Sigh… everyone has a secret… I don’t want the burden to carry anymore secrets on my shoulders, but she is my friend… do I have a choice? Clearly, No!

I saw the look in her eyes, the faraway, wistful look, a smile playing in those eyes but her body language defied those looks- she was leaning on the table and her lips were quivering as if she wanted to weep, her face was aglow – either she as blushing or was hurting, I couldn’t say- even after meeting so many people, and suffering through what-nots, I was still not able to gauze what goes in the mind of those around me- I am not gullible, I am plain stupid.

“Do you want to talk about it? We can move away from the table.” “No, I am fine,” she gave a radiating smile and excused herself. She baffles me; no one can ever say what will be her mood the very next second. One moment she was dying to tell me her secret and next second she brushes me off and moves away… she is a mystery all right.

She has a weird story, some of which I know, some I just guess. She met her man when she was still in school. She loved him to death. She would go each evening to his house, prepare food for him, serve it and come back home to tolerate her mother’s wrath on being in the vicinity of a single man who is living alone. He had no parents and was several years older than her, his elder sister was already married off to a comfortable household and was now nurturing her two kids while watching all the TV saas bahu shows. He was not a wonderful guy, not good-looking but he loved her and she loved him! That was the end of the matter. For her, anyways.

What he did not know however was her temper, I am guessing here that he did know- but he chose to believe that he would be able to handle her. He would be able to calm her down with his love. She fought with her family to marry him and she won. He won. They were one. Wow! I am quite poetic today, aren’t I!?

The hell started then. As the marriage begun, love ended. The need was still there, passionate physically raw need, but no love. The fight started on their Suhag ki Sej itself. It was a pity. She realised, it’s too late now- she can’t go back to endorse her maiden name when she has already accepted her husband’s name. The habits which were adorable to her were now irritating. And on her part, she was taken aback by sudden restrictions on her free movement- earlier she used to go bike rides with her macho friends, or for a group sleepover or a slumber party- but now that she was married, her husband did not like going to other guy’s house- he did not have a problem with the friendship- he had a problem with intimacy.

To escape the daily bickering and to maintain the peace of mind, she decided to enrol herself for further studies and went to another state altogether- instead of finding ways to shorten the gap, those two idiots who were in love earlier decided to increase the gap as they deemed it to be the only available solution. Instead of sitting and talking and renewing the love- they decided to fight it out- the marriage became the games of the gladiator and they both wanted to win without compromising.

Soon two years passed and her studies came to an end. But she was still not sure of her stand with her husband, she was not yet sure whether that love, that flame is still there or gone… But instead of finding out, to unravel the paradox, to free the proverbial Schrödinger’s cat from the box, she decided to move further away- once again.

She did not realize it, but she could be very dominating and insensitive. Once her sister-in-law came to visit her for a week with her small kids- and kids being kids, disrupted the household with their untimely shrieks, their unabashed demands drove this young woman crazy and to top it all, the sister-in-law decided, one night to skip dinner at her hosts’ place- however the poor woman did not realize that her brother’s wife has already cooked for her and her kids. When they returned from restaurant, all hell broke loose and the sister-in-law was asked to leave and not to ever come back as this was not her house and the mistress of the house also demanded an apology for she went into so much trouble. The husband could not tolerate it and slapped the wife. This incident was like fire in the oil spill in Pacific Ocean. The remaining chance of peace was now gone. She went on to find a job in a nearing city while her husband remained behind to tend to the family business.

On her family’s insistence and because deep down she knew that she has to revive her love, she decided to stay in a place which was only 4 hours away from her husband. But it turned out that she was not so sure about her choice anymore…

In her new workplace, she met a man- a young handsome man in mid thirties who was charming and pleasant. It was a nice change to her husband and she, it was not intentional- mind you, it just happened- and she felt a powerful; attraction towards him. She was lonely and her hormones demanded more and she was pulled by the string maneuvered by that guy and she found herself entangled the web she spun herself. Ironic. She tried to tell her friends in co many words about her many adventures with this Black Knight, but she was tied up with the moral obligations of human society.

This was her first secret- I knew it, not because she told me, but because she wanted to tell me. She would flutter, she would glow, she would sigh and she would always try to say something which would make no sense – at least not to my ears, my dumb stupid ears.

And suddenly she stopped talking with Black Knight, she never revealed why. However with all this, there was a dark change in her personality. She stopped talking and laughing, she would respond only when required and would not smile at all. Her sullenness made impossible for people around her to enjoy her company. She would behave normally with others who are not part of regular social circle but with us, she behaved as if she was doing us a favour by hanging with us and it was against her wish to do so. I used to get irritated. Once I remember, we all were going out to Dinner and she was with us. Suddenly she says that she wants to go someplace else, I looked at her and told her that I am comfortable being here and then suddenly she stood up and gathered her coat and her purse and stormed out of the restaurant while we all sat agape at her latest antics. She started to get on my nerves but before I could vent my anger and frustrations on her, she found a new muse.

She would regale us with her new muse’s antics- how he can talk non-stop; how he could make time run faster; how he keeps on entertaining her; how he can talk to himself he finds no listeners available. She would go to breakfast with him, she would find excuses to be near him, and suddenly this new muse became her second secret. Surprisingly, this new guy was too naïve to understand her signals. He was same to all girls, same laughter; same talks etc. She was soon bored by him- he did not give her that kind of attention which she sought. Things, kind of, died down.

Then one day her third secret started. She made me a part of it- partially. She told me that someone has asked her out knowing that she is already married and moreover- he himself is married. She said that she wants to say no and that she will refuse his actions. And to add to it, she said that feels glad someone adores her. She was glowing, smiling; she was on the top of her world. That incident made me decide.

I am not a moralistic person, nor I am the righteous one- in fact, I have a few escapades of my own, but that was long long time ago. And I have straightened myself and my path. Though she was a friend of mine, I decided to maintain a distance with her. I knew that the day of disaster was near. And I was not wrong. I maintained a façade of friendship with her- on an impersonal level and I kept on getting a glance of her life- though I was no more affected by her antics. For instance, I know now that she is having “Affair on Flames” her new beau- that married man, and I am not anymore interested in getting dragged into yet another scandal. I want a clean chit for myself.

Who doesn’t love a good gossip, even I do. I just hope that these incidents and men in her life won’t destroy her marital bliss- or her social standing.

I do not yet know what will be the end of her story in future. Nor do I want to guess. Nor I want you to guess. I am just telling you a secret…

November 7, 2011

Death_ A sweet experience

Filed under: Opinions,The Unadulterated Magic — MK @ 3:58 pm

Suddenly I found myself in the dark, but the darkness was not enveloping, it was not overwhelming, over powering, the darkness was not dark… it was a darkness which awakens you from a deep sleep. The darkness was the culmination of the dark and beginning of light… and I saw myself there, being calmed down by the serenity of my environment. No, I did not fear the novelty or the strangeness nor did I feel any curiosity…

As the darkness faded, I felt myself bathed by the warmth of the growing lights against it and as I opened up my eyes I saw a haze around me, a white haze… and there it was- an empty space, no bottom, no roof, no walls, but enclosed, for there were no windows as well, neither were there any doors…

I was in a space which held me secure, like a cocoon, and as I uncurled myself and moved my knees away from my breasts and realized that what I was wearing before I was so strangely deported was not anymore on my body, what was deported was me, not my worldly possessions and I felt a soft breeze touching me like my lover in the places with such intimacy that a blush rose from my bosoms towards my cheek and I could feel strands of my hair trying to cover me, shield me from that breeze.

And I felt a unique calmness in that caress, I felt an enviable security, a strength… as I rose I saw Him, I saw Him coming towards me – He came and covered me with a material so soft that it was like being covered with kisses, He then told me to wake up, told me that i was not ready to participate further in the sweet experience anymore, He told me to go back and finish what I am supposed to finish before I can trudge further in to the journey of completeness –I knew that the great words falling from His divine lips are compelling and true, I reluctantly took a tentative step backwards and I felt a sharp pain excruciating my spine, the pain made my eyes clench even harder and I could now feel the lonely drop of tear sliding on my cheeks… And simultaneously I could hear the exclamations and gasps around the room…

Suddenly I found myself in the light, the blindingly painful light, the overwhelming, over powering; darkening light… it was the kind of light which awakens the craving to close the eyes and escape. This light was, in actuality, the beginning of the darkness… and I saw myself there, troubled to the core by the chaotic nature of my environment. Yes, I was afraid of this phenomenon and I understood that death was sweet…

November 1, 2011

Dilli Dilli Dilli Dilli!!!!

Filed under: Opinions,The Unadulterated Magic — MK @ 4:14 pm

It was 12 in the night when I reached Delhi airport and saw the driver waiting with the car. And as we left the airport I realized how much I actually missed the vastness of Delhi, the beauty of it… The wide roads were practically empty by that time and the coal tar reflected the beams of the numerous streetlights; so did the green trees by the sides of the roads…. there was slight chill in the air – not the biting one but a pleasant one… The air felt pure as it hit my face… As we sped through the Embassy area, the night intensified the beauty which is eye catching during the day… the Sky Roads, The red railings and intricate range of flyovers from ITO towards Eastern Part of Delhi- Once you step in Delhi, you can’t stop marvelling, you can’t resist falling head over heels for Delhi…

They say Mumbai is the City of Dreams, the city which holds your hands and won’t let you go… maybe so, I can’t say- but one thing is for sure, while Delhi already rules my heart and Mumbai is pushing its way in it!

September 27, 2011

Mujhe ek kahani likhni hai…

Filed under: Opinions,The Memories Unfogged,The Pun & the Fun — MK @ 4:24 pm

The little joys of life and big joys of life

Kuch to karna hai ke zindagi badi chhoti si hai…
kabaddi khelte un bachcho ke khilkhilahato ko sahejna hai
aur us budhiya ki jhurriyon se batorni hain yaadein…
ma ki lori ko pakadna hai takiye par rakhne ke liye
aur piya ki baahon ka jhoola banana hai simat jaane ke liye…
chaadar ki silvaton mein dubki angrai dhoondhni hai
aur rasoi se basmati ki mahek…
ped par baithi maina ki chahek chahyiye
aur sooraj se thodi narm si garmi…
sardi ki raaton mein muh se nikli bhaap ko kaid karna hai
aur gubbaro se chatak rang chheenna hai…
raat se udhaar kuch taare chahiye
aur apni aankho ki thandhak ke liye subeh se os…
hawa se maangni hai gulab ki khushbu
aur baarish se gulmohar ka rang…
dhool se abhrak ke kuch kan maangne hain
aur patjhad se ek peela patta…
bachche ke aansu me chhupi ma ki ek kasak chahiye…
aur gaay ke doodh ki mithaas…
Waqt se kuch panne bhi udhaar maangne hain…
mujhe ek kahani likhni hai…

September 13, 2011

Chapters of Life…

As she stood with clenched fist at the edge of the sea, watching it swallow the sun and spilling a splurge of wildly dark colours in the sky, she knew that one more chapter of her life ends today. Tomorrow she will be a different person…

As her hairs blew against the wind and fought with it, she untangled her strands with her fingers and thought about life’s new entanglement starting tomorrow, some more strands will be there to be smoothened and she will be a more matured person…

As she felt the seawater lapping against her feet, gently swishing around and tickling her sole, she was aware that tomorrow, someone’s hands will be caressing her feet and she will be a much loved person…

Tomorrow, she will change, her world will change, a new chapter will start… as she looked beyond the horizons, she was reminded of the past few chapters of her life, chapters which made her what she was today, chapters which nurtured her…

She has so much to do before this chapters ends and new one enfolds… she had so much to do, but so little time… So much laughter to share and tears to wipe, regrets to throw and anger to burn, love to do, hugs to give and kisses to lend, so many ‘I love you’s to return, so many wishes to borrow… she had so much to do… so little time…

As the sky turned into the colour of night and as the sea darkened, as the hem of her skirt flew around, and as she felt a few drops of tears down her cheeks, and as the moon light reflected against those tear drops, she knew that she missed many chances, many opportunities, she let go of many moments, she never tried to seize what could be hers, she never had the courage, she just could never dare…

But now it’s time for tomorrow, she opened her fist and let those moments go, she remained looking at the waves clashing against each other and listened intently for the sound of sea against the silnce of the night… she smiled through her tears… she mourned for her yesterday but now it’s time for tomorrow…

August 16, 2011

Are we sure of our Stands: Lokpal and Anna

Do you know what’s happening? All these Hunger strikes and all these Act 144 and all these allegations… I don’t claim to be an expert; no I am just not knowledgeable enough to be an expert. I don’t know the nitty gritty of The Jan Lokpal Bill, I don’t understand the difference between Anna’s version and the Cabinet’s Version; I don’t understand how will this remove corruption. But, if this actually does something to reduce the level of corruption, I am all for it. I will support any ABC who is fighting for this bill and Anna is way above any ABC, any common Indian.

Yesterday was 15th August, after so many years of independence, I considered us, as a nation to be mature enough to handle situations gracefully. I did not think, even for a moment that Anna will actually be arrested; I did not realize that Acts like 144, an emergency provision shall be applied on a peaceful protest. Are we in Egypt? Or Syria? But I would like to ask, if this is not Egypt or Syria, why are we fighting as if we are in such a country? I respect Anna, I respect the demand for a just Lokpal Bill, and I don’t understand why it has to be Anna’s way only, his drafts only, his version only? Why can’t we let it happen in Parliament, why can’t both the versions and drafts be discussed in there and the best points from both be selects- after all in parliament are our representatives. DO we have to degrade UPA as “goras” or “angrez”? And this NDA, are they so pure? Are they totally just and uncorrupt? I have this much faith in Anna that I know that he would have protested against corruption and for Lokpal had it been NDA there and not UPA. So why these BJP and RSS are are making this an election platform to propagate themselves? This is much more that ‘chair’ isn’t it? This is about building a nation, And that is why it is such a shame that central government is acting the way it is acting- arresting a 79 year old man who is preaching non- violence and anti-corruption. What are they thinking? What are they going to achieve? This is not at all democratic, this is dictatorial. UPA, Congress are digging their own graves- for what? the accumulated money in their Swiss accounts??

I am not for UPA or NDA, if anything I am totally apolitical. However, I don’t approve, however much I respect Anna, I don’t approve of this way to protest. This is not an India pre-1947. This movement is not self sustainable. This fire which has been lit today is not going to remain aflame for long- it’s not an independence war and we should not give it a form of one. It’s not like if Gandhi ji is arrested, then Nehru would lead, if Lala Lajpat Rai dies, Bhagat Singh would rise. This protest, this “Revolution” is on a move only because of Anna and now Anna is arrested, he will be out soon; and people will keep on pouring on roads for marches and “Jail Bharo Andolans” but for how long? I ask you- people who are protesting this- for how long will you take leave and go to the “Dharana Sthal”, how many of you will taint your clean records by going to jail? How many of you would tolerate a scuffle between you and police? How many of you will spend endless nights on the roads and parks and Jantar Mantar? Tell me truthfully for how long are you ready for all this? Its easier said than done.

What is happening that we are not clear anymore what we are fighting for- is it for Jan Lokpal Bill? Or is it for Anna? As far as Lokpal is concerned- Government is ready for it, it’s just that they want it on their terms- and Anna and team are rigid. We cannot blame the government that they do not want Lokpal- we should be glad- we won the first battle- yes the war remains- but we cannot have all we want now and here, can we?

Anna says this is the second freedom struggle- we are blowing things out of proportion- I have a feeling that this is now no more about Lokpal- this is now more about ego war. It’s all about no I don’t was to be submissive, how can I? Its UPA vs. Anna. Sadly, the priorities are getting merged, the line of differentiation is now getting obliterated and we are now not sure what are we fighting for…

August 12, 2011

Khali Panna aur Pencil ka tukda

Filed under: The Unadulterated Magic — MK @ 3:52 pm
Tags:

Ye ek kora khaali panna
Zindgiya banaane, bigaadne chala
Aur ye ek pencil ka tukda
Kahaniya likhne mitaane chala
Safed panno par, Khali aksharon mein
Ubhar kar aatae kissa..
Wo kaale aksharon wala kissa
Us khali panne par rang ukerne chala
Kabhi pankhe ki hawa se ud kar
Lehrata hua wo panna
Zindagi ki dagmag se naav ka ehsaas dilaane chala
Kabhi us bulb ki roshni ke neeche
Dhoop chhao ki anubhooti dilaane chala
Ek khali panna, aur us khali panne ke upar
Us chhote pencil ke tukde se likhe huye
Us kaale aksharon waale kisse se samajh aai mujhe zindagi…

July 31, 2011

Bubbles…

It seems that my life has found new center for the stories to sprout from; Leelavati Hospital. And twice a week visit to this place gives me new stories to tell you. New wonders to share. The whole journey in detailed way will be a story in itself- from here to JB Nagar to the Highway and then a long stretch, the sight of Bandra-Worli Sea link and young lovers around the boundaries of the road- facing sea and snuggling- totally oblivious to the traffic around the them, kissing as if tomorrow they might not meet again- their own tiny rendezvous has a story. But my story today is not of a lover by the side of highway, nor is it about the lady in the car lost in her thoughts today’s story is about two little boys…

I was coming out of the hospital and was looking for an auto-rickshaw, it was 815 in the evening and after a long day I was tired- all I needed was to sit and relax, I just wanted to be home. It was raining steadily and incessantly since last 3 days. As I stood there waiting some sort of transport, there came this tiny boy- he looked 6 years old and he was without a shirt- his face and body was shining with water droplets and he looked squeaky clean. The streetlight made his bronze skin glow. Big eyes shone on his tiny face and he held my hands and said, “Didi khana khila do, mai paise nahi maangta par bhookh lag gai hai aur koi kuch de nahi raha” I looked down at him and saw that his beautiful face was so innocent and I saw the way his ribs were pushing against his chest. He needed food. And I thought I should be heading home, why don’t I give this guy some money and get it over with! And as I scourged my bag for some money I saw another little man of the same age nearby saying the same thing to some other lady and was totally snubbed by her. As if sensing my eyes on him, this fellow turned back and looked at me almost in tears. I beckoned him and asked if both of them are friends, he said yes. If it was possible this little guy was cuter that my half naked one and they both looked at me with so much anticipation and expectations. As I was about to hand them money, they said they want food and not money. They both took each of my hands and led me towards the road, there we saw a “Paani-puri wallah” Chandan, my little half-naked guy said that he wanted to eat some and I proceeded to that man and asked him to prepare two plates and sat on the curb with Chandan and Amish waiting for the delicacies to come. And as we sat, a constant chatter started. They spoke non-stop, finishing each other’s sentences, arguing, and what not. “Didi, ek gulaab chahiye”, “Didi aap icecream bhi khilaogi”, “Didi aap bimaar hain”, “Nai bewkoof, didi bimaar nai, wo to kisi ko milne aai ho gi, hai na didi”, “Didi hum waha park ke paas khayenge won a 40 rupaye mein ek thaali deta hai”, “Nahi didi ye pagal hai, waha aapko mehenga padega, wo peechhe wale road par 25 rupaye mein hi mil jata hai” “Didi aapko pareshaan kar diya na humne”…

Amongst all this chatter and bickering, my tiredness was lost somewhere. I thought that I should take them back inside, and have them fed at the hospital café- with good hygienic food. But I was not allowed to; these kids were not sick and hence not privileged enough to be in the hospital. I took their advise and took them to that place near that park. As we all three sat, once again on the curb, and ate some rotis and Sabzi, under my blue and white polka dotted umbrella, I felt complete and fulfilled. I felt that these two kids were God’s messengers to remind me that even if you have no umbrella, even if you have to tolerate rain and even if you have no money to eat your dinner; find a reason to be happy, laugh, talk, argue, and find someone who will be there. It may seem that they needed me- but it was other way round. I needed them and they found me, they knew that I needed them.

July 20, 2011

Zindagi

Filed under: The Unadulterated Magic — MK @ 4:01 pm
Tags:

Mere Dil se Nikalte Dhuein se
Meri Aankhein Nam Hoti Rahengi
Mai Kuch nahi Bolungi

Ilzaam Kabhi Ruswai ka Kabhi Bewafai ka
Mere Seene ko Chhalni Karta Rahega
Mai Kuch Nahi Bolungi

Agar Mere Muh se Aah Nikal Gai
To Mujhe Zindagi Kaun Kahega??

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