Kissaa Kahaani

April 20, 2011

I Miss You-3

Filed under: The Memories Unfogged — MK @ 11:18 am
Tags: , , , , ,

I will today remember my youngest sister. We called her Reshu.

Reshu

Reshu was our youngest sister. She was five months old when she died. I was 7-8 years old. Girls were a burden at that time. And My parents had three already. My parents loved us but secretly they also wanted a son. in her fourth pregnancy my mother was happy and glowing that it will be a son this time. But God and his jokes- this time also we were given a baby sister. My mother was devastated. But as soon as she laid her eyes on the Angel she was in love with her. All of us were in love with my little sister.

You would have loved her too. She was nothing like us sisters- though I will say that us three sisters may not be extraordinarily beautiful but we definitely are attractive and my parents are very good-looking (unfortunately we did not inherit their best features) But Reshu, my youngest sister was beyond all of us. She had this angelic look and such beautiful dimples on her fair cheeks. She would rarely weep, rarely she would create any tantrums. She would hop into the arms of anyone who would show affection to her. She had that toothless gummy chubby grin that would capsize your heart.

She would tease my mom. My mom would breastfeed her and Reshu wold play hide and seek with mom, she would look at my mom’s face give her oh-so-sweet smile and duck in to have her fill again after a few moments she would give that grin to my mom. I would carry her all around, holding her gave that nice feeling to me. We loved playing with her.

And then she fell sick. My mother had to do all household work- sweeping the floor of that huge house, cooking 12-13 people, cleaning, taking care of us sisters and my grandfather. And no one to help her. She first saw that my sister is sick when she tried to feed her milk from spoon- she saw that my sister was weeping but her voice was different and that her neck was towards one side and her whole body was limp. She ran towards my uncle- my dad was in Shimla and in Training- he was in 1992 batch of IA&AS. My uncle called the village doctor and the doctor gave his verdict- my sister’s lungs were filled with cough and mucus. And that my sister would need constant injections so that that mucus is dried. And daily her tiny body suffered not only the pains of her sickness but also the cruelty of that doctor. My mom wept and wept- but then she had no money of her own to take for second opinion. Nor was she able to contact my father, she just wrote a letter. No phones at that time in my house. Thank fully one of my Aunt’s husband arrived a few days later the moment he saw my sister he told my uncle and my mom to take her to Patna and get her admitted.

They left for Patna.

Once in Hospital, she was diagnosed with Meningitis. That tiny poor child suffered due to the half cooked knowledge of that Doctor, and she suffered due to my mother’s helplessness, she suffered due to that fact that my father was too far away, she suffered due to my uncle’s ignorance. She suffered. My mom had to be hospitalized as well. She couldnt bear it. And our Reshu died.

Before she died- she waited for our father. My dad tells me that when he entered the room, Reshu’s crib was positioned in a way that her head was towards door, God knows how she knew it, but the moment dad entered the room, Reshu twisted her body, looked at my father and smiled. The baby who was paralysed all over just moved herself to look at her father. And then she slept- never to wake up. She died.

In Bihar we celebrate Chhath- its above all festivals, everything. My mom, before going to Patna, begged my father’s aunt to pray for my sister in Chhath.

You know the saddest part? We dont even have her photograph, not a single one. All we have is the memories which are too few and far between. My mother couldnt tolerate the sight of all those baby dresses and toys and cribs. She gave it all away. We dont have anything which would show that we once had a sister. Just sometimes, we three sisters and my parents sit and talk about her. We just smile and we cry. Sh was an angel who gave us laughter, I think if she were alive today she would have been a delightful person. Wherever she is, I just hope she is happy and that her laughter still makes the heart go pitter patter.

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2 Comments »

  1. i have also gone through the similar pain. I also lost my brother when he was 5 months old. But Life goes on. I still remember him and miss him.

    Comment by rohitraj — April 20, 2011 @ 11:53 am | Reply

    • Thank you Rohit. Yes, no matter what, life goes on and we human being are blessed with short term memory. Still there remains a tiny pang in your heart… I am sorry for your loss and for my loss…

      Comment by mamta kashyap — April 20, 2011 @ 11:57 am | Reply


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